Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Screwed.edu
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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