so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize