and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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