One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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