You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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