in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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