I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize