I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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