Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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