He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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