We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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