i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize