I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize