That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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