You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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