If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize