I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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