Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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