I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize