one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize