i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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