Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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