You just made me feel so damn special
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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