Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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