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oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
false alarm. still invincible.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
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