First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Please don't give away my fajitas
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize