after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
two words...techno handjob
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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