My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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