Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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