im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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