Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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