I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize