we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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