hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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