i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize