the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My ass is underappreciated
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize