A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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