Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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