ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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