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I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
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