I cannot find my penis.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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