I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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