and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
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Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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