Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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