Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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