she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize