He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm having to shit out rocks
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