I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize