Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize