I swear she didn't look like that last week.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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